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The Rocking Song
> Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
> We will lend a coat of fur,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
> Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
> We will lend a coat of fur,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
> We will rock you, rock you, rock you:
Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants,
> both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons.
> Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece
> material should be considered a suitable alternative.
>
> Please note, only persons who have been subject to a
> Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be
> permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure
> with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of
> identification before rocking commences.
> Jingle Bells
> Dashing through the snow
> In a one horse open sleigh
> O'er the fields we go
> Laughing all the way
> A risk assessment must be submitted before an open
> sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The
> risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only
> one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger
> proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners
> before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating
> in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not
> loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
> While Shepherds Watched
> While shepherds watched
> Their flocks by night
> All seated on the ground
> The angel of the Lord came down
> And glory shone around
> The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches
> health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their
> flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided,
> therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available.
> Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather
> conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via
> cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
> Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that
> before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that
> all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the
> harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
> Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
> Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
> had a very shiny nose.
> And if you ever saw him,
> you would even say it glows.
> You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for
> All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard
> to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this,
> exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered
> discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found
> guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and
> sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst
> this investigation takes place.
> Little Donkey
> Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
> Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
> The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to
> how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry,
> also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed
> the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour
> plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution
> from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to
> prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed
> his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be
> simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack
> thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
> We Three Kings
> We three kings of Orient are
> Bearing gifts we traverse afar
> Field and fountain, moor and mountain
> Following yonder star
> Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable -
> as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as
> 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate
> due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic
> reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a
> worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
> We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on
> navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the
> use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the
> quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per
> the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the
> three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks.
> Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood
> of dust from the camels hooves.
>
> Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed - Social
> services???????
> both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons.
> Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece
> material should be considered a suitable alternative.
>
> Please note, only persons who have been subject to a
> Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be
> permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure
> with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of
> identification before rocking commences.
> Jingle Bells
> Dashing through the snow
> In a one horse open sleigh
> O'er the fields we go
> Laughing all the way
> A risk assessment must be submitted before an open
> sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The
> risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only
> one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger
> proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners
> before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating
> in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not
> loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.
> While Shepherds Watched
> While shepherds watched
> Their flocks by night
> All seated on the ground
> The angel of the Lord came down
> And glory shone around
> The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches
> health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their
> flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided,
> therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available.
> Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather
> conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via
> cctv cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
> Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that
> before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that
> all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the
> harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
> Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
> Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
> had a very shiny nose.
> And if you ever saw him,
> you would even say it glows.
> You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for
> All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard
> to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this,
> exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered
> discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found
> guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and
> sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst
> this investigation takes place.
> Little Donkey
> Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
> Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
> The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to
> how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry,
> also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed
> the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour
> plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution
> from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to
> prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed
> his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be
> simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack
> thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.
> We Three Kings
> We three kings of Orient are
> Bearing gifts we traverse afar
> Field and fountain, moor and mountain
> Following yonder star
> Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable -
> as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as
> 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate
> due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic
> reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a
> worthy cause in the recipients name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
> We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on
> navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the
> use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the
> quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per
> the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the
> three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks.
> Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood
> of dust from the camels hooves.
>
> Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed - Social
> services???????
